How To Help A Decepticon Without Getting Shot
by xXAutocon-LeaderXx
Summary: I find a Decepticon in my yard! Let's see if I can help him get back to his world without getting killed.
1. Oh My Gosh! The Crazy Old Lady Was Right

Anyway, I know I have some stories out there that I haven't been updating, please forgive me for that...I'll try to update them as much as I can. :L

I know I shouldn't be writting this but I just can't help it! I got the idea and it won't leave! The plot bunny is really pointing a gun at my head and screaming: 'WRITE IT OR DIE!' o_O ?

Disclaimer: I do not own Transformers, Hasbro does (big meanies :P).

This story is for mah lovin' big sister, Lilskystar. ENJOY! :D

"Well...it's official...I'M BORED!" I had been sitting alone in my house for Primus knows how long. Yes, I did use the word 'Primus'. I'm the biggest Transformers geek I know. It's fun to annoy my friends with Transformer speeks that they don't give a scrap about.

Anyway, like I said before, I. Was. Bored. My parents had gone out on a summer-long vacation, leaving me alone with a couple hundred dollars to buy 'necessary' items...Ha! Yeah, right. I'd already spent a good $50 on Transformer toys. That'll teach them to leave me with money and Transformers toys so close that they were calling my name.

I stood up and made my way to the mirror in my room. My hair was a total mess-loose hairs sticking out everywhere. I grabbed a brush and began my battle against the tangled mess. I was winning! Take that anit-tangle shampoo that-I-used-once-but-learned-that-it-was-a-total-lie-so-I'll-never-use-it-again! You just got served by my super awesome ninja hair-styling skills!

Yeah, I question my mental health, too...

Anyway...again...I went over to my closet (once I won the battle with my hair) and threw on some chothes-a white shirt with grey short sleeves, a pair of light grey skinny jeans, my half Autobot half Decepticon necklace, and some socks. Gosh I hate wearing socks in the house...remember, I question my mental health.

I put on a pair of shoes for the heck of it. Primus...WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? I moped around the house for another hour before I got off my lazy aft and went outside. This was going to be a looooong 4 months.

I grabbed my bag before I left the house with all my meaningless junk I find meaningful in it. I went to my favorite spot to go to whenever I was bored, my little tree with the small stream flowing under it. I climbed on a branch low enough for me to dip the first few inches of my feet in the small stream. I took out my sketch pad and started drawing pit-knows what. Once my hand had stopped moving, I looked at the picture I had drawn. That's right, KITTY BARRICADE!

Primus, he'd kill me if he ever saw that...

I was home now. I was looking through the latest Transformers fanfiction while drinking Red Bull...not a good pair, but very amusing results...heh heh (insert drunkin hiccup here).

I started fiddling with my necklace. I didn't like to choose a faction, that's way it was half and half. I mean, the last time I checked, they weren't Autobots and Decepticons, they were Cybertronians. Sometimes I wish I could just scream that right into Megatron's audios. Even though I'd doubt he would listen to a human, though.

I jumped in surprise when I heard a loud boom. The sound of the ground being ripped and torn apart bangging its thundering boom on my ear drums.

Me being me, I wasn't about to let that kind of sound go unexplored.

I pulled on my old and worn out black jacket and a flashlight and made my way out into my back yard where the sound came from.

Not long into my search for what or who had made the booming sound did I find a huge gapping hole in the outer part of the yard. My curiosity getting the better of me, I took a few steps foward until I was standing right on the edge of the mysterious hole. I moved my flashlight so I could peer down into it, but the beam radiating from the flashlight wasn't strong enough.

I was about to turn to go back to the house to get a stronger one when the, already weak from the explosion, ground gave out from under me and I slide down to the bottem of the hole.

"Frag...that didn't feel to good", I said rubbing the back of my head. I had hit something hard, I didn't know what it was but it was hard. I gathered myself up enough to stand. Grabbing my flaslight, I looked around to examine the situation I was in. Besides being in a 15-foot-tall hole, I wasn't really in any real interesting predicament.

Until I looked at what was in the hole with me.

My flashlight had rested on a still figure. It wasn't moving and I sure as slag wasn't either. I moved closer to the...thing that I found very intresting. I moved my only source of ligth across it's...body? I really didn't know what it was. As I looked over it, something very particular caught my eyes.

A Decepticon insignia.

"Holy mother of Primus...The crazy lady next door was right...alien robots are taking over the Earth...", I didn't move. I didn't think. I didn't do anything but stand there, looking dumbfounded. Hey, if you found the body of a Decepticon, a real, live Decepticon in your yard, would you know what to do?

I couldn't really tell which 'con it was from such bad lighting, but whoever it was, I'm sure they don't care all that much for humans...Aw, heck, they hate humans!

Now...what's the first thing you do when you find a Decepticon body in your yard? Deactivate their weapons system of course! Now, anyone know how to do that? No? Scrap...Looks like I'm doin' this NINJA STYLE! (insert epic ninja pose here). Red Bull kicking in...Dear Primus, perfect timing!

Anywho, back to the task on hand! Let's see...deactivating a weapons system...hmmmmmmmmm...Yep...I'm slagged.

Hmmm, this thing kinda looks like an off switch...I thought as I moved my hand to touch the little silver thing on the body's back.

Mistake number 1.

As soon as I touched the piece of cold metal, the body's systems began to come alive. Several humming sounds filled the air as swichs clicked on.

Slag! I gotta do something fast if I wanna live! I scanned the bady slowly coming back online. I needed to find something that made sure I wouldn't end up vaporized once the giant robot saw me.

My eyes frantically searched for anything my poor, poor brain might sum up as a way to deactivate weapons. I finally found two farrelly large wires right beside one of the 'cons arm cannons. I jumped onto the limb and tried to get the wires to come apart.

Mistake number 2.

Almost as soon as I had jumped onto the appendage, I began to feel myself moving. Frag... I needed to cut those wires and fast. The only problem with that was the fact that I wasn't strong enough to just rip apart the wire. I needed to cut them.

I searched in my back pocket of my jeans, trying to fish out the pair of pliers that I always carried with me. Slag! Do you know how hard it is to get things out of your pockets in skinny jeans?

Before I could get my tool, the body stepped out of the hole and into the yard. I nearly feel off but held onto the arm for dear life. After I was stable enough, I continued my search for the pliers. I finally found them a few seconds later. I positioned myself on the giant arm and carefully cut the two wires.

It musted have worked because while I was cutting the wires, the Decepticon noticed me. I still couldn't tell who it was because of the lack of light. But I guessed he looked surprised then angry because the cannon on his arm started glowing but blacked out once the wires were disconnected. I breathed a sigh of relief when the cannon powered down with the rest of the robot's weapons. It also seemed to have put his systems back in stasis mode because the Decepticon's systems powered back down and the mighty gaint fell.

I jumped off his arm once we were close enough to the I was safely on the ground, I looked myself over to make sure I wasn't dead. After my self evaluation was over, I stood there. Looking at the robot I just brought down.

"HA! And you guys think humans are a pathetic waste of live! Well guess what? I totally just beat you all by myself!" I bragged to the offlined body in front of me.

I then remembered I still didn't know who this was. So I ran into the house and got a stronger flashlight and shinned it over the Decepticon's face.

"...BARRICADE?" Out of all the 'cons that could've showed up on my doorstep, it was Barricade! Thank you, Primus!

I giggled like the fangirl I was for a few minutes. After that, I really didn't know what to do. I mean, I don't think he would agree to cuddling with me...Frag...I was looking forward to that...

I thought a few more minutes on what to do. "Well", I said, "I would offer you the garage but I think you're content where you are right now." I smiled. "Well, I guess I'm gonna have to stay with you to make sure you don't run away in the morning. Huh, Barricade?"

I mentally giggled and climbed under the mech's servo to act as my blanket. I yawned. The thrill of almost dying had gave me one slag of an energy drink hang over. I cuddled up to Barricade's helm HAHA! I did cuddle with him! and closed my eyes, waiting for sleep to take me away.

Well? Good? Bad? Want more? Please review if you wish to have another chappie! :D

Pwetty pwease? I'll send you your own Barricade crashing down in your yard! ;D 


	2. I'm Still On Earth!

Enjoy chapter 2! ^-^

"What the-?" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth as I felt myself become air-borne.

I glanced up as a servo wrapped itself around my waist. The events of last night came back, flooding my poor, still hung over, mind. Ugh...what a slaggin' good time to get a headache...

"I have some questions for you, pathetic flesh-bag", Barricade spat lifting me to his face plates.

"Good morning to you, too", I said smiling.

"I don't have time for games, human. Just tell me where I am and I might let you live."

I started to laugh. "Hahaha! Y-yeah, right! I would love to see that happen!"

"Do not test me, fleshie!"

"Go right ahead and try."

Barricade lifted his other servo and transformered it to show a cannon. He pointed it at my face. "I'll give one last chance, Where am I?"

"Why, you're on planet Earth, of course!"

Barricade growled with my answer. "I can see that. What part of Earth?"

"...The part with land."

Barricade had enough, he lifted his arm cannon closer to me and tried to fire. When nothing happened, he tried again. But, again, nothing happened. "What the slag is wrong with my cannons?" Barricade lifted his cannon to examine it.

"Awwww! You said a dirty word!"

Barricade's optics shifted to me again, he growled Primus, when they growl...*drool*. "So what if I did?"

"It's not nice!"

"Why should I care? I'm a-"

I cut him off. "A Decepticon?"

"What?"

"That's what you were going to say, right? You're a Decepticon?"

"Y-yes, I am but how did you-?"

I sighed. Super long explaination time... "Listen...you're in Phoenix, Arizona. As of how you got here, I have no idea. I know all about the Autobots and Decepticons, if you don't believe me, quiz me. My name is Ava."

Barricade stared at me for a while. I could tell he didn't believe me. "Okay...Who is Lord Megatron's second-in-command?"

"Dude, really? You wanna make it that easy? Alright, Megatron's second is the one and only Starscream."

"Correct. What is my name?"

"Barricade, duh."

Barricade didn't ask anything else for awhile. He looked me over quizinglly. ...I wonder what goes on inside a Decepticon's head...(Insert a sly enough smile that would put Megatron to shame, here). I managed to wiggle out of Barricade's grip and, dodging some grabby servos, made my way up to the 'cons helm.

"What in the name of Primus are you doing, fleshie?" Came Barricade's annoyed question.

"What does it look like I'm doing? Knitting a sweater? I'm sitting on your helm!" I half yelled, flaring my arms for effect.

"...Why...?"

"Because, if I get high enough I'll be able to see the mother ship!" I stood on the 50-foot-tall Decepticon.

"Are you what the humans call 'high'?"

"What's it to ya?"

With that, the world around me started shifting. "HOLY CHEESE STICKS, MOTHER OF PRIMUS ABOVE!" I fell back down off Barricade's helm. I thought for sure I was going to be a little puddle of flesh and guts on the ground before I landed on something metal again.

"You flesh bags are strange beings..." Barricade lifted his clawed servo to his face plates.

"I didn't ask you to save me", I said quietly.

"Oh? Would you like for me to drop you?" 'Cade extended his servo out in frount of him a little bit and slwly began to turn it upside down.

Needless to say, I held on for dear life. "Ha, ha, ha! N-no need for that!"

Barricade smirked in victory. "That's what I thought", he pulled his servo back up to his face.

"But...why did you save me from falling?"

"I might need you."

To be honest, I was taken aback by his reply. "Why?"

"You're the only human I've seen so far and I need help getting back to my world because it doesn't look like I'm on the Earth I know...You're SURE this is Earth?"

"For the love of, yes!"

"So...", Barricade looked almosr ashamed to ask his question. "Will you help me...?"

I fake gasped "A Decepticon asking a small, weak organic for help? Why, I never!"

"Are you going to help me or not?" The 'con growled.

"Of course I will, 'cade!"

"Alright, good."

There was a short pause.

"Uhh, I don't believe I caught your name..." Barricade asked.

"Oh, right, I'm Ava."

"OK, Ava."

Another pause.

"Ava?"

"Hmm?" I turned to look him in the optics.

"When I woke up...why were you cuddling my face?"

Well, hopefully updates will come a lot sooner...Hopefuly. ;) 


	3. Pop Goes The Frenzy!

**Another installment! :D**

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><p>After a few hours of trying to explain to Barricade why I was cuddling his face Dear Primus..., I was now in my room trying to find something to draw or do. You'd think after finding a Decepticon in my yard, I would have a lot to do, but 'Cade was busy trying to get all his systems up and running again. <em>Also threatning to end my life if I didn't online his weapons system...Pff! Yeah, like that was going to happen.<em>

"Ugh! Barricade, are you done primping yet?" I asked through my upstairs bedroom window.

"Would you just SHUT UP already? You've asked me that same question 24 times now! It's not funny anymore", Barricade yelled at me. "And I'm not primping!" He added. _He was totally primping._

"Hey, 'Cade, you wanna know what's funnier than 24?" I asked, with a grin.

"What?" He asked annoyed.

"25!" Oh, Spongebob...How I love you.

"That makes no sense!"

"It's not supposed to!"

"You fleshies need a life!"

"You giant rust-buckets need a girlfriend!"

"Don't say that!"

"I just did! What now, jerk?"

Barricade reached through my window and grabbed me around my left leg and pulled me outside, dangling me in front of his optics. "Would you just shut up while I finish my systems check?" He spat. "You're worse than Frenzy", 'Cade added under his breath, but loud enough for me to hear. _I guess when you're 50 feet tall, you don't know the meaning of the words 'whisper', or 'side comment'._

Staying on subject, I asked: "Where is Frenzy anyway? Don't you two stick together?"

Barricade looked at me for a few seconds, with an expression even I couldn't read. Finally, he put me down onto he ground _Thank Primus. All the blood was rushing to my head_. Then he started to transform but was stopped midway by something that came out of his car door _I just got very scared_... The thing started beebing and clicking which was I guessed to be an angry tone.

Then it glanced over to see me.

It started to scream _I think it was screaming, anyway_. And backing up behind Barricade. I caouldn't get a good look at what it was because it was moving too much _But I've gotten three good guesses on who it was, though..._ But it soon started to take out its weird looking guns and pointed them at me.

My first reaction was to throw my hands up and yell "I COME IN PEACE!" Which is weird because this is MY planet...I finally got a good look at what was trying to kill me-a little transformer with blue optics. Frenzy! _Boo-yah! Congrats, Hannah! You just one $100,000 on the 'Guess Who's Trying To Kill Me' show!_ Well than answered my question on where the little guy was. Poor thing had been trapped in 'Cades alt-mode_...*shudder*_

"Cool it, Frenzy. You're fine", Barricade tried to sooth his little partner _as if 'Cade was the soothing type._

Frenzy started speaking in a language I could guess was their native language.

Barricade and Frenzy argued back and forth for a few more minutes, until Frenzy finally started to just look at me. By then I had my arms down and I was just standing there, trying to make out some words they were saying _FAIL!_ Once 'Cade stopped talking, Frenzy came over to me slowly, and started circling me._ Creeper._

"Can I help you?" I asked him after he got a little too close for comfort.

Frenzy was caught off gaurd and stumbled backwards and fell. After he regained his balance, he got up and walked back over to Barricade. "Can we go home now?" He asked in English this time. Hit tone reminded me of a whiny kid not a bid difference there.

"I already told you, we're kind of stuck here until we find out how we got here in the first place", 'Cade told him.

Frenzy glanced back over to me then started banging his helm on Barricade's leg.

"I don't smell that bad, do I?" I laughed trying to lighten the mood.

Frenzy didn't seem to be in the mood to listen, though. All he did was look at me, then kept on banging his helm.

I rolled my eyes. "Alright, fine, be like that. Two can play at this game!" I went over to 'Cade's other leg and started mimicking Frenzy's movements. Bad move! "OW!" I should've known that banging my soft head on hard metal would end up in pain. "Mother of all fraggers, that HURT!" I held my head. I then heard some soft giggling behind me.

Of course it was Frenzy_...CURSE YOU!_

"Shaddup! I blame you for my pain. You'll be getting a bill from my lawyer", I informed Frenzy. And, Primus, I ment it! My poor head!

"You two are nothing but pure younglings...", Barricade started shaking his helm.

"Really? Thanks, 'Cade! That's just what I wanted to hear!" I said sarcastically.

After Frenzy let a small laugh ecape again, there was a short pause. "What now?" He asked.

"Well your big-bad Barricade was primping while I was sitting in my room", I said, dodging Barricade's foot from nearly killing me.

"For the last time, I WAS NOT PRIMPING!" 'Cade yelled.

"Whatever gets you to sleep at night", I mocked as I ran back inside before 'Cade's foot could have a second chance to connect with my body.

::A few hours later::

"Now are you done primping?" I asked 'Cade for about the 100th time that day. I enjoyed his misery.

Barricade only growled and glared.

Frenzy was with me in my room while 'Cade was still outside messing around with his systems.

"I'm bored...", Frenzy sighed. He had already gone through everything in my room...twics. There was only so much a Decepticon youngling could do.

"Well, whenever drama queen over there", I pointed to my window where Barricade was, "ever gets done primping, I guess I could set up my dad's old projector so we could watch a movie on the garage door".

Barricade yanked me out of my room again, only this time by my waist. "For the love of all that is good and holy-do you WANT me to kill you?"

"Couldn't even if you wanted to. I offlined your weapons system, remember?" I relied, grinning.

Barricade squeezed my middle a little harder on his already firm grip. "Oh? What if I do this?" He had this creepy glint in his optics. _*Shudder*_

"ACK! Okay! Okay!" By then I was gasping for air. "I-I get it! Lemme go!" He squeezed me tighter. "P-please!"

Barricade finally let me go, and placed me on the ground beside his foot. "Good girl", he said, with a satisfied grin on his face.

"I-I-", I gasped for another gulp of air as I held my stomach. "I h-hope you...die...!" I managed to force out between gasps. "And I'm not your pet!" I spat at him once I caught my breath.

"You sure about that?" 'Cade asked with a smirk plastered across his face. "I'm a frag of a lot bigger than you".

"And THAT'S what makes me your pet? Becaue I'm smaller than you?"

"It is if I say so".

"...I hate you...A lot..."

"Ooooooh, harsh".

Frenzy jumped out of my open window and smirked down at me.

"Thanks for the help, ya slagger", I glared at him, as I stood up.

"You're welcome!" He exclaimed with a smile.

"Correction: I hate you both..." I thought for a moment. "I'M SO UNFRIENDING YOU ON FACEBOOK!"

Barricade rolled his optics at my comment, while Frenzy laughed.

There was another pause.

"So, can you set up the projector so we can watch that...That, uhhh...", Frenzy asked, trying to remember the name.

"'Movie'?" I answered him.

"Yeah! Yeah! The movie!"

"I don't think I should now", I said smirking to myself.

"Aww...", Frenzy pouted.

Not the pout...

"...Fine! I'll set it up", I gave in. _You can't resist a D-con pout!_

"What movie are we watching?" Barricade asked whilst sitting down on the grass in front of my garage door.

I thought for a moment...

"TRANSFORMERS!"

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><p><strong>MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I left you with a bit of a cliffhanger! I'm so evil!<strong>

**I don't think this chapter turned out as funny as the others. Oh, well...**

**Stay tuned! ;D**


	4. Sleeping In A Robot

Wha-haha! I is back! XDD

Anywho~

"Who the-? What? ...WHO'S LAST WORDS ARE 'OH SH-"

Frenzy asked alarmed, but I covered his mouth before he could say the 'bad word'. "No! None of such language in my house mister!"

Needless to say, I was deeply enjoying his misery from watching himself die (still, his last words were epic). Barricade had said nothing troughout the whole movie. He just stared at the 'screen' the whole time...I don't even think he blinked.

"Earth to Barricade! Come in Barricade!" I yelled in his face once I climbed onto his shoulder during the last few minutes of the movie, and after I shut up Frenzy. "Are you dead, dude?"Still nothing. This time I grabbed his little cat ears (heh heh...) and TRIED to shake his helm. "DUDE! Snap out of it!"

"Maybe you put him in stasis," Frenzy suggested.

Just to be sure that I hadn't killed him, I poked him in the optic. He twitched, but nothing more. "So...You are alive, I think."

Great...I think I just killed my gaint robot puppy...I'MMA TERRIBLE MOTHER! WAAAHHHH!

Then I got an idea. "well, if you don't wake up, we'll just have to watch the second movie." It worked! (Even if it did cause me pain in my middle again...) Becaue 'Cade instantly grabbed me around the waist again.

"YOU EXPECT ME TO WATCH ANOTHER INSTALLMENT OF THIS, THIS...STALKER SHOW?" He shouted.

I was laughing in my mind (heh, 'Stalker Show'), but on the outside I was tearing up with fake tears. "I-I...You didn't...have to y-yell," I sniffled through fake hiccups. Being in drama at school really pays off in fooling a gaint robot.

Of course, being a Decepticon, 'Cade didn't really care much for a sniffling human squishie (Jack-aft...). He did, however, stop yelling and he softend his expression, though still annoyed. "Oh, shut it. Maybe I should find a less-crazy human to help me..." Barricade mumbled the last part, but I could still hear.

"NUUUUUU!" I quickly latched myself onto his face after struggling to get out of his servo. "WHY, 'CADE? I LOVED YOU BARRICADE! I LOVED YOU!" I faked a broken heart.

"I think it likes you," Frenzy scoffed.

I glared at him. "Do you want the same treatment, Frenzy-Wenzy? There's more than enough Ava love to go around."

"Good boy!"

"...*blush*"

"I win!"

Anywho, back to the matter on hand! ...What was that again? Oh, well..."Who wants another movie for you two recover from the shock from watching yourselfs?"

"Anything but the second movie..." Barricade requested.

"The third then?" My middle got another squeeze. "Point taken..."

'Cade put me down so I could switch movies. I stared looking through my many movies. 'Reel Steel? Nah...Teeenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? They'll think the whole human race is high...' I was about to just give up and put in the second TF movie when I found it. 'Heh heh...' "FOUND THE MOVIE!" I walked back over to the projector and switched them out.

"What is it?" Frenzy asked.

"It's a secret," I winked at him.

"Ava, so help me, if it's the forth movie I'll-" 'Cade started.

"Don't be silly! ...The forth isn't even out yet!" I went inside first to change into a white tank top and blue shorts to serve as pjs. Then I walked back over to them when the movie started playing and slung myself over in the grass with my pink, zip-up hoodie on.

"OH! MY GAINT BLUE HEAD!"

"Girls, girls! You're both pretty."

"Yes! The spe-ider, one bit from Arachness Deathacess with instantliy par-OW!"

"I say we go back to the evil lair, grab some ray guns, turn 'em sideways, and just go all gagsta on 'im!"

"If I live, I am going to kill you."

Frenzy and I were laughing at the whole thing. Even 'Cade let out a ew smirks at some parts, but I think he was mostly confused on why a bad guy would turn good.

"Have a heart, 'Cade. Have a heart."

"I don't have one."

"Oooooh! Spark then!"

After awhile, I started yawning. Even Frenzy was already in recharge leaning on Barricade's knee joint. N'awww! What a cute picture! *click*

I shut off the old projector and walked back over to where Barricade sat in the cold grass. This time I slung myself over his lap...Only to be pushed out. "Hey!"

"Don't 'hey' me. You are NOT sleeping on me," Barricade commanded whilst glaring down at me.

I pouted. "Frenzy gets to!" I pointed over to where he was recharging on 'Cade.

"I don't have a choice on that one," he said rolling his optics at glancing at his curled up partner.

I still didn't give up. I tried again, but with the same result, with my face in the grass. "Primus! You're such an aft!"

"Now now, you do not use such language in my house," 'Cade smirked.

"HOW DARE YOU USE MY WORDS AGANSIT ME!" I tried again with a running start. Still...Same old, same old.

I finally just curled up on the grass in front of Barricade with my back to him. It was colder than I thought it would be, so I pulled my knees up to my chest for warmth and snuggled into my hoddie.

"Ava, you have a bed. Just sleep in there," I heard Barricade trying to reason with me, but I didn't listen. I'm too stuborn for my own good sometimes.

"Ava..." 'Cade tried again. I still didn't move. I'MMA GOING ON STRIKE!

I curled myself tighter when my teeth started chattering. I heard Barricade mumble something about how humans are so stupid but I didn't catch all of it. HOLY PRIMUS! WHY IS IT SO COLD?

I heard Barricade give a heavy and deep sigh ater another few minutes of silence and then a surprisingly warm servo gently picked me up off the ground and put me on some not-so-warm metal. I flinched at the even colder than the grass surface I was put on, but eased back up when I got used to it.

I shifted myself so I could look up at what I was on (as if I didn't already know...). I gave a small smirk when I looked up at Barricade's unreadable expression. Then I shifted to get comfortable and, with half-closed eyes, mumbled "I win" and went to sleep.

;P I love it~ 


	5. I is sick

Hello, hello, hello! :D I welcome you all back! *holds up sword and shield* Alright, for those of you who are mad because I'm a slow updater...COME AT ME BRO!

Anywaaaaaaaaaaaaaay~ I'm just sitting at home waiting for a tornado to hit so I'm bored and thought I should update this! :D

O! And I usually don't like to change POVs but I'll do it if I have to. ENJOY!

Chapter 5

I started to slowy become aware of my surroundings as I started to wake up. I was cold and damp from the morning dew. Ewwwwww...I'm all sticky...*sob*

Anyway, I was vaguely aware of the fact I was still on Barricade's lap but his servo was not being my blanket. I slowly sat up as I rubbed my tired eyes, only to go back down from a pain radiating from my head.

I hissed in pain as I felt a clawed hand gentaly wrap itself around my lower body, touch me somewhere and so help me..., and another supporting my head and shoulders. My eyes were clenched shut but I had a feeling I knew who was holding me.

"Barricade?" I inquired while I cracked an eye open.

Barricade ignored me and went about looking me over, telling me when he was going to turn me to get a better look so as not to rattle my aching head. Finally he seemed somewhat satisfied and spoke; "Are you in any pain? My scans tell me you're uncomfortable."

I managed a smile. "Aww, concerned about me?"

He didn't think it was funnt, though. Tough crowd..."I'm serious", he pushed with a glare.

"Okay, okay! Calm down," I tried again to sit up but with the same results as before. "Ow, ow, ow, ow..."

"What's wrong?" Barricade asked a little panicky.

"Nothing...I'm just dying."

Barricade looked at me horrified.

I patted his chassis reassuringly. "I'm only kidding, 'Cade. I guess 've caught a cold from sleeping outside," I groaned in discomfort from the servo that was now rubbing my middle. "...What are you doing?"

"You said you had a cold, I'm trying to make you get a warm."

"Pffft! HAHA! Ow, owowowowowow, HAHA!" I laughed and sqealed in pain as I looked at the now embarrassed cop car. "You sure you Decepticons have GAINT computers for brains? I have to rest for a bit to get better, even though there's not a cure...it's justa little huamn illness!"

Barricade looked sulkily at me. "Well, Decepticons don't care about humans. So why would we bother with human knowledge?" Awww! He was pouting!

I was about to laugh again when Frenzy awoke from his recharge and rubbed onlining optics. "Hmmmm...? Wha's goin' on...?"

Barricade was the first to speak instantly. "Nothing. Ava was just going to bed...in HER bed."

Before I could protest, 'Cade lifted me higher and brought me to his chassis then went up to my still-open bedroom window. He set me back down in my own bed and pushed me down when I got back up. "No. Stay. I don't want to see you up for the rest of the day."

"So sorry...Mommy," I smirked as i tried to sit up again. "Darn it, 'Cade!" I protested when his servo pushed me back down.

He said nothing as he pulled the blanket over my shivering body. "Stay. I will stay here until you fall asleep if I have to." Sweet, yet creepy.

"But I like your chest better!" I replied with a cheeky grin.

Barricade just rolled his optics. "No. I am not very warm right now thanks to that wet substance that forms in the early morning hours."

"Dew, dude, dew."

"Whatever." He pulled the blanket up further until it touched my chin. "Rest. Now." Awwwww! I got tucked in by mommy Barricade!

I just smirked but didn't protest further as I was feeling my eyelids become heavy. "'Nigh..." I managed out as I had one final eye contact with red optics.

Reader POV

Barricade watched as the little human female finally gave up and fell asleep. Watching her chest rise and fll for a bit, Barricade retreated from the window but stopped as he thought of something and began searching the Internet for something.

Frenzy looked up at Barricade to see him transforming into his alt.-mode. "Where are you going?" He asked.

"Ava is what the humans call 'ill', so I'm going to the local store to get human medicine to help her. I want you to stay put to make sure she doesn't get out of bed and that she's as comfortable as possible until I get back, understood?" Barricade explained firmly but didn't wait for an answer, he took off down the street to a small market.

Frenzy slumped over and silently complained about how he wasn't made to be a babysitter or nursemaid. With a huff, he sulked into the house and up the stairs into Ava's room, happy to see she was still sleeping soundly. Frenzy also watched her chest fall up and down with each breath she took. It was always amusing to watch.

The little minicon finally slung himself over the sleeping girl and snuggled up to her. Ava stirred a bit but relaxed when Frenzy found a comfortable by her side and powered down his own systems for a few more hours of recharge. It was pretty early when they first woke up.

This is how Barricade found them when he returned from the store, packing a large bag of things. Setting the bag down through the window, the cop car poked his head in the room.

"Ava..." He tried poking her. "Ava. Ava!"

Ava POV

I felt some pressure on my side like I was being poked by someone. I could hear my name being called but the bed was too comfortable to punch whoever was trying to wake me up.

I finally snaped my eyes open when the pressure increased a bit too much. I looked over my shoulder to see a slightly annoyed Transformer.

"How are you feeling?" Barricade asked as I turned around, carful not to wake Frenzy, Lord he can sleep through anything...

I yawned. "I dunno...My head's a little foggy still," I glanced over to the bag by the floor. "What's that?"

"The human things you need to get well again."

"H-how did you get it...?" I swear if he robbed the store...

"Holoform."

"And money?"

"Places."

Not wanting to know what he meant, I got up and left Frenzy in the bed to see what Barricade had bought me. "Cough medicine, tissues, headache drugs...Correction: a LOT of headache drugs...Jesus, 'Cade, are you trying to get me high?" I laughed as I took out the several medicines.

"Well, I didn't really know all of your symptoms. All you showed was the signs of pain in your head...And what is he doing?" 'Cade pointed in the direction of the sleeping Frenzy.

"Sleeping. Duh." I said with a grin "He's such a cutie!" I gushed over the little minicon as he slept.

"Oh..." Was that...JEALOUSY on 'Cade's face?

DUN, DUN, DUN!

'Cade's jealous! :D I shall prove that to you in the next chapter~! 


	6. SlishSlash, I was Takin' a Bath!

I blame 'Shadowhaseo' for this chapter. She helped me with this crack of an idea, which I just can't help but love~! Go praise her. O_O Do it right now. OUR MISSION IS TO FLOOD HER PM INBOX! MWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

*ahem* Anyway, I have seen schools that give homework over Summer vacation, so don't argue with me! Becides, the worst you could do is caps-lock me too death.

Oh, and Frenzy's not in this chapter.  
>-<p>

"'Caaaaaadddeeeee," I whined, "love meeeeee..."

Barricade was currently pouting (at least I called it pouting. He would call it 'the man sulk') because of some unknown reason to my poor, poor fleshie brain-as he put it. Dat aft.

Anyway, after the whole Frenzy thing he wouldn't talk to me the whole time I was in bed with the dreadful cold. He wouldn't even look me in the eye! So, being a super ninja, I took thinks into my own hands. I had bugged and poked at him for the past few days, and I think I'm making him crack! Or making him really mad...Either way I win!

"Slagit, 'Cade! Talk to me!"

"FINE! I'm going to see the new people next door!" I huffed and went out the door and let it slam behind me.

Reader POV

Barricade sighed as Ava left. He watched as she went over to the house and greet the new people in his alt. mode. Growing restless, the cop car, useing his super hearing, zoned in the conversation that Ava was having with another teenage girl that looked to be close to Ava's age.

"Hi! My name's Ava. Welcome to Arizona."

"Hello, I'm Alex." The two girls shook Ava glanced over Alex's shoulder to see a red Mustang parked in the driveway.

"Sweet rims..." Ava whisled walking over to the ar.

"Thanks! It'll be even better once the paint is touched up."

Barricade scoffed. He was so much better looking than that peice of scrap metal! And he'd prove it to her once she got back.

Ava surveyed the Mustang closely, not missing a single detail. "Can you drive yet? You know, without anyone else in the car?"

"Yep! Just a few weeks ago, actually."

"Maybe you could take me for a ride later then?"

"Hmm, maybe." Both girls luaghed and then said their goodbyes so the new family could get settled in.

Ava's POV

I walked back over to my house and by the looks of things, Barricade was in an even blacker mood than when I ..."So, 'Cade...Seen any good movies lately?" I tried to make small talk. I leaned on his front hood, but Barricade reversed a bit to make me fall on my face. "Hmph..." I picked myself up and went into the house to try to occupie myself.

~*O*~

About an hour later, I was in my room, actually doing some homework. HOMEWORK. What has our generation come to? I heard a little taping noise on my now closed window. I looked over to see a transformered Barricade looking at me.

*tap tap*

I crossed my arms and looked back at my paper as I leaned back into my chair.

*tap tap tap*

I started rocking on my chair, not paying attention.

*TAP*

The force made the house shake and I fell back from rocking on my chair. Owie...I heard a rumble come from 'Cade's chassis. The aft was luaghing at me! I limped over and opened the window. "What do ya want, slagger?"

He lifted my out from my bedroom with a servo wrapped around my waist. "I'm bored. Entertain me." I was now sitting in his open palm.

"Oh, sure, I'll get right on that. Now, where's my stripper boots agin? And I'll need a pole..."

"Pervert."

"Costs money."

He rolled his optics at me. "What were you doing?"

"I WAS trying to do school work, but I'm kinda stuck on something."

"Show me." I didn't expect him to care, but he placed me back in my room to get my books.I got them without much fuss. Hey, if a guy with a computer for a brain offered to help you with homework, wouldn't you take it? "Pick a subject. I've got two I'm stuck on."

Barricade looked at the two books I had in my hand. "Hmmm...That one." He pointed to my Sex Ed. book. Perfect. "You sure? Might make you crash." Of course, I was wanting to have some fun with the 'on and let 'Cade have some mind-numbing fun with human STDs. Fun for me, anyway. He began flipping through the much smaller book until he seemed interested in a certin page. "What's crabs?"

~*O*~

"...Humans...are the most discusting creatures i have ever seen."

"Hey, you offered to help."

"I think you killed my CPU."

"Ahhh, the plan worked."

Barricade grumbled and quickly changed subjects. "What was the other book?"

"French. The language of love." I added the last part just because I wanted to see if a Decepticon even knew what love was since the war started.

"French?" I could tell Barricade looked the word up as well as many other links. "Why can't humans speak one language and be done with it?" 'Cade grumbled.

"You sound like Ironhide when you grumble."

"I am nothing like that Autobot!"

"Whatever-French is cool! ...Even if I can alomost not speak it! And the Autobots could speak more than one language, why don't you?"

"Decepticons didn't bother with learnig but one of your pitaful languages."

"Oh, jeez, thanks."

"You're welcome."

Not replying, I flipped through the book and found the page I had to work on. I didn't speak or ask for help as I layed on my bed and did the work, and I'm sure Barricade was getting bored again. It looked as if e was looking something up on the Internet by his expressionless face. But I just shrugged it off as I kept working.

A few minutes later, Barricade poked my side to get my attention. When I looked he simply stared as if gathering his words. "Je beileve vous avez dit que c'etait la langue de l'amour ?"

It took me a minute, but I managed to peice together what he said...*insert facepalm/blush here* 'Cade...'Cade, 'Cade, 'Cade...You're not the best Romeo. I couldn't help but giggle as he frowned. He didn't look at me again and ducked his head away from my field of vision. Finally he mumbled something. "I bet you were talking to that other car like that..."

I couldn't help it. i burst out luaghing at that. "W-what...! Ahahah! 'Cade! WHAHA!"

Barricade's helm shot back up with a glare in my direction. "Wat?" He asked coldly. "I saw the way you were looking at it's rims!"

This only made me giggle further. When I finally got my luaghing under control, Barricade was in his alt. mode in the back yard. I went downstairs and out the door, but he wouldn't talk to me. No matter how much poking I did. *sad face* I guess I felt a little bad for luaghing at him. I soon got an idea to make him feel better, though.

Grinning a bit evily, I went back into the house and changed into a swimsuit, got a bucket, soap, and hooked up the water hose. "Bathtime!" I giggled and attacked 'Cade with the waer hose and soapy water.

"Wha-UGH! AVA! THE WATER IS FRICKIN' COLD!"

I didn't pay attention as I soaked the poor cop car down to the tires. Barricade struggled to get away from the blasts of cold water (even transforming once but quickly transforming back after I shot him im the face) but soon relaxed and maybe even enjoyed the wash.

After I had rinsed and dryed him, 'Cade was all sparkly. "Well, I did a good job if I do say so myself."

"Hmmm...Let's see if a human can sparkle."

"What-?" Too late.

I could've sworn I saw an evil glint in his windshield as I felt cold water run over me.

Well...THERE YOU HAVE IT! Ava and Barricade don't have any love interest in each other. Just a jealous guy-friend in this chapter. XD 


	7. NOTICE

**Alright, my little lovelies. I have decided to continue! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and gave me encouraging reviews. :) **

**And best of all, I have a few chapter ideas! They'll (hopefully) be up soon.**

**Until then, lovelies. **


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